Guide to: Bathrooms and Project Partners
Seasons 1
Director Paul Hoen
Previous Episode Guide to: The First Day and Lockers
Next Episode Guide to: Teachers and Detention

"Guide to: Bathrooms and Project Partners" is the second episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.


Part 1: Bathrooms

Ned is still teased by Loomer for mistakenly using the girls' room when he was in kindergarten. He and Cookie never use the bathrooms in school, they just hold it until they get home. Moze says the girls never go to the bathroom alone. Chandra asks Moze to go to the bathroom with her, but they find that Doris Trembley and the Huge Crew have taken over it. Because of them, Chandra didn't get to use the bathroom and Moze didn't read the "Hottie List" of cute guys on the inside of a girls' restroom stall. Ned wants to know what it says about him, but Moze says it's mostly for the popular guys. He makes a deal with Moze: he'll write her bathroom tips that will help her avoid the Huge Crew when she needs to go if she'll add his name to the list and tell him what other girls write. Moze is somewhat reluctant, because the girls don't always write nice things about the guys, but she agrees. She writes Ned's name with one color, and "hottie" underneath it with another in slightly different handwriting.

The next day, Cookie forgot to go to the bathroom before he left for school that morning. He insists he can hold it, but Moze is doubtful. Moze gives Ned a list of what the girls replied on the Hottie List, and most of them said he was too short. But Moze tells him someone kissed his name three times. He tries to find out who is secret admirer is by swabbing the lipstick from the stall and comparing it to the girls in school. Ned manages to match it to Suzie Crabgrass. Moze says Suzie went into the stall after she left.

Cookie is asked to the board but he is about to burst so he says no but is told to go up anyways he goes up and crosses his legs then one drop comes out so he starts to panic and sits back down then after class  he runs to the bathroom but the teacher stops him and talks to him more drops comes out little by little then runs out but Ned stops him and more drops comes out and he starts to pee his pants after he runs then Moze stops him then more drops come out and he pees more after he checks then panics then goes to his locker and grabs his  jacket ties it around him then after class school bully Loomer pulls his jacket off of him and everyone laughs at him

Ned tries to talk to Suzie, but all he can do is talk about lipstick. Suzie says she borrowed it in the bathroom from the Huge Crew. Ned is shocked to find out they all like him, and runs away.


  • Tip#129.B - Hold it in till you get home
  • Tip#093.6 - Go when everyone else is gone.
  • Tip#111A - Use a super-clean private nurses' bathroom.
  • Tip#111B - Tell the nurse you have a "stomachache."

Part 2: Project Partners

Moze has a project to do for Social Studies and chooses basketball star Seth Powers for her project partner. Loomer has a crush on Moze and is seen staring longlingly at her. Ned says he always picks the "Reliable Friend", as he and Cookie are partners in Life Science. However, Cookie shows up and says he lost the baby, then reveals that Loomer took it from him and would only give it back if he got Moze to be his project partner for Social Studies. Moze is confused as to why Loomer wants to be partners with her, and Cookie says Loomer thinks she's a hottie. Ned is about to convince Moze to be partners with Loomer, but she runs away.

At lunch, Cookie finds the baby's leg in his lunchbox with a note from Loomer, reminding them to make Moze his partner or they won't get it back, and adds that he will beat up Ned and Cookie after school on Friday. Cookie reminisces about the good times he spent with the baby. In class, Mr. Monroe tells them he will conduct a full body examination on their babies on Monday, and base the bulk of their grade for the quarter on it. Moze tries to get Seth interested in putting a fake mummy in a sarcophagus for their project, but soon discovers that Seth isn't going to help. They meet with Mr. Wright to discuss their problems. Seth wants to do their project on ancient Egyptian basketball, until Mr. Wright said it wasn't invented in ancient Egypt, and Seth and Moze begin to fight.

Ned and Cookie receive the torso of the baby with another note from Loomer, saying they'll get the baby back piece by piece until Moze becomes his partner. Ned decides not to do anything, so that Loomer will keep sending them pieces of the baby until they have the whole thing. Seth keeps trying to push the ancient Egyptian basketball idea on Moze.

By Friday, Ned and Cookie have every piece back (one of them was found in Ned's sandwich) except the head. However, Mr. Monroe has a conference on Monday, so he moves the baby inspection to that day. They beg Moze to be Loomer's partner so they don't fail Life Science. Then, Claire shows up saying Seth wants to divorce Moze as project partners. Seth partnered up with Martin Qwerly instead, who let Seth put his name on a project that was already done. Ned, Cookie, and Moze meet Loomer and his cronies in the hallway to exchange the baby head for Moze's partnership. Moze agrees to be Loomer's partner and Ned gets the baby head.

Baby head exchange

In class, Mr. Monroe notices teeth marks in the baby's arm from when Ned found it in his sandwich. Moze got Loomer to dress like a mummy for their project and burst out of the sarcophagus to scare the class. Ned and Cookie get a C and have to attend alternative family counseling. Loomer's cronies see Loomer dressed as a mummy, but don't recognize him, so they instead protect the women by attacking him. 


  • Get to know the 3 types of Project Partners.
    • Project Partners - Type 1: SMART AND SQUIRRELY.
    • Project Partners - Type 2: RELIABLE FRIEND
    • Project Partners - Type 3: TOTAL HOTTIE.
  • Tip#3.054T - It's all about teamwork.

First Appearances (in order of appearance)

Nurse Hunsucker, Doris, Martin Qwerly and Seth Powers


Guest starring


Season 1 Episodes
Guide to: The First Day and LockersGuide to: Bathrooms and Project PartnersGuide to: Teachers and DetentionGuide to: Seating and TryoutsGuide to: Crushes and DancesGuide to: Sick Days and Spelling BeesGuide to: Rumors and Photo DayGuide to: Elections and Talent ShowGuide to: Computer Lab and BackpacksGuide to: Notes and Best FriendsGuide to: Daydreaming and GymGuide to: Cheaters and BulliesGuide to: Emergency Drills and Late Bus
Season 2Season 3

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