|Guide to: Fundraising and Competition|
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"Guide to: Fundraising and Competition" is a season 3 episode of Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.
Part 1: Fundraising
Coach Dirga has everyone sell chocolate "Wolf Bars" to raise money for new gym equipment. She says that this year, there's a golden ticket in one of the Wolf Bars, and whoever finds it will win a flatscreen TV and video game system. While Moze has actually been selling her Wolf Bars, Ned and Cookie ate all of theirs. Moze tells them they need to come up with sixty dollars for the chocolate they ate. Moze has one more Wolf Bar to sell, and that'll make three years in a row that she's sold all her chocolate. She refuses to sell to family or friends.
Ned and Cookie hold a carnival in the science classroom to raise money, but Coconut Head accidentally tosses a baseball through the window, breaking it. Sweeney busts them and says Ned and Cookie owe forty-five dollars to fix the window. Gordy tries to buy Moze's last Wolf Bar, but she still refuses to sell to a friend. At the championship basketball game, Ned and Cookie hold a slam dunk contest during half time, where the winner gets a new bike, Cookie's bike. But Ned makes it so that it's impossible for anyone to win. Moze tries to sell her chocolate at the game. One boy wants to buy it, but when she tosses it at him, it hits him in the eye and he runs off. Cookie makes the contest even harder by blindfolding Coconut Head, spinning him around, and making him face away from the hoop before he shoots. Miraculously, he makes the shot and wins the bike.
Moze goes door to door trying to sell her chocolate, but fails. Ned and Cookie have just about given up hope when Gordy suggests a car bash. People give money to hit an old car with a sledgehammer. Gordy even offers to help find a car they can use. However, the people who donate money accidentally smash Crubbs car, who now demands a hundred and seventy dollars to cover his deductible. Ned and Cookie try to sell wrapping paper, but they get no customers because they charge too much for one roll. Moze goes around school, begging for someone to buy her last chocolate bar. Gordy just tells her to sell it to him, but she again says no. They argue and Gordy says they're not friends anymore. When Moze agrees, Gordy asks to buy her chocolate bar. Moze lets him buy it, and Gordy tosses it aside, saying he hates chocolate. It hits Coconut Head, who opens it and finds the golden ticket.
Ned and Cookie are cornered by Dirga, Sweeney, and Crubbs, who call them the worst fundraisers ever. Ned says fundraising is really hard, and the teachers all agree, recounting their own fundraising experiences. Ned comes up with an idea, a carnival game where the students can pay to throw wet sponges at them.
- Tip#001.IUP - Use inexpensive or used prizes and ask local businesses to donate.
- Tip#001.FR - If it's a "fun" raiser, people will pay to play.
- Tip#001.MFR - Don't get bored and make fundraising fun-raising.
Part 2: Competition
Ned and Loomer race down the hallway to class, and Loomer throws a handful of marbles on the floor so Ned will trip. As a result, when they get to class, Ned has to sit in the small chair at their table. In class, Mr. Pal gets everyone out of class for the whole day to participate in The Big Continent Competition. The winners get a mystery prize in a big box. Everyone has to pair up and Ned decides to be partners with Missy to beat Loomer at something. Cookie sees fliers for a salsa dance partner for Lisa, and is determined to win. Ned advises Cookie to learn some salsa moves, since many of the guys who want to be her partner are really good.
Missy tells Ned their strategy is to play dirty. They all have to collect water and bring it back to their designated buckets. Missy tricks Loomer and Crony into giving them their pots of water and she and Ned win the first challenge. Ned try's to give Missy a high five, but she kisses him instead. Moze's volleyball game is off and she doesn't know why. Cookie fakes a video of himself salsa dancing and wins the chance to dance with Lisa. Unfortunately, she needed a partner for a dance competition, and Cookie doesn't actually know how to dance. Moze checks her grades and game averages and finds that they all started dropping the first week of March. Ned points out that was the week Suzie moved away. Moze realizes she needs a new ultra-competitive rival to get back to her old self.
In the second challenge, Loomer smashes the hut Ned and Missy made. Cookie asks Gordy for dance lessons, since Gordy used to be a dance instructor. His closet is too small so they find somewhere else to practice. Moze starts getting competitive with everyone she meets, but nothing seems to work. iTeacher notices Moze is off and Moze tells her what's wrong. Ned and Missy make it to the final stage of the competition. Missy steals the map of the challenge, a three-legged race to find Asian spices. Soon, everyone finds out they stole the maps and they start fighting. Ned tries to get everyone to calm down, but Coconut Head says it's a trap and that Ned's trying to fool them. Loomer vows to beat Ned, and Ned tells Missy he needs some marbles.
Gordy tries to teach Cookie to dance with a broom. In the last challenge, Loomer and Crony get Buzz to set a few booby traps so they can win. Ned sets a booby trap of his own, and everyone trips over the marbles spilled out on the floor. At the last minute, Ned feels bad and refuses to cross the finish line. Loomer and Crony cross the finish line first and win the prize. All that's in the box is a note that says, "Competition brings out the best and worst in us. The most important thing is to know the difference." Mr. Pal clarifies that the prize is knowledge. He also praises Ned for what he did.
iTeacher gets Suzie to video chat and be on the sidelines for Moze's volleyball game, which motivates her enough to do well. Cookie doesn't do well at the dance competition, and throws Lisa around, causing her to crash into everyone. Mr. Pal tells the class they're having a scavenger hunt, and the winner gets a prize. Everyone runs screaming from the room.
- Tip#796.CNR - Don't enter a competition if you're not ready.
- Final appearance of Claire Sawyer, aside from a stock footage cameo in Guide to: Field Trips, Permission Slips, Signs, and Weasels.
- Second kiss between Ned and Missy
- The Wolf Bars and the golden tickets in the Wolf Bars are a spoof of the Wonka Bars as featured in the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
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